Cheyenne - Abby's Birthmom

Our favorite picture of Cheyenne and Abby - it is framed in Abby's room

We love Cheyenne, Abby’s birthmom. How could we not – she made it possible for us to be parents, and not just parents, Abby’s parents. We will be forever grateful to her for that. But she not only gave Abby life and then placed her with us, she’s just an awesome person and are grateful to have her in our lives. She also respects our roles as Abby's parents, which we appreciate.

When Cheyenne was pregnant with Abby she was 17, still in high school, living with her parents (of course), didn’t have a driver’s license, and working at Panera. She had just broken up with her boyfriend. Cheyenne loves children and has always wanted to be a mom. She really wanted to be able to raise Abby but she knew she would not be able to provide Abby with the life she wanted her to have, so she lovingly chose adoption.

We see Cheyenne regularly – usually at least once a month. She’ll babysit Abby for us or just come over to visit. We leave it up to Cheyenne how often she sees Abby. She used to live only 10 minutes away but now she’s about an hour from us.  Cheyenne adores Abby, is very good with her, and will always be part of her life.

Not only do we we want Abby to have relationship with Cheyenne but with her family as well. Abby (via Mom) sends out regular emails to all of Cheyenne’s (and our) family with updates on what she is currently doing as well as invitations to an online photo album of all the photos we’ve taken of her each month. Abby has her own email address so when any family member emails her she responds with an attached picture of her from that day. This makes it possible for Cheyenne’s (and our) extended family to feel connected to Abby regularly. We also invite Cheyenne and her family to any significant events related to Abby (when she was blessed in our church as a baby, Halloween, to Christmas, to her birthday party, etc.) and they invite us over when they have family visiting and for birthdays. So Abby is surrounded by people who love her!

We do not currently have a relationship with Abby’s birth dad. He and Cheyenne broke up before Abby was born and he chooses not to be part of Abby's life. Perhaps in the future that will change.

We have written more about Cheyenne and our open adoption on our family blog in a series of posts called “Abby’s Story”. You can read two of them here and here.